Affirming the universal need for intimacy, Duffy—a relationship expert, CatholicMatch. Duffy identifies five essential characteristics of spiritually healthy people—being available, affectionate, communicative, faithful, and magnanimous—and shows how cultivating these qualities can bring out the best, most confident, and most attractive version of anyone.
Quizzes, journaling questions, and action steps will help the reader grow in these areas. The book concludes with an appendix on resources for those who need help working through an annulment or who are in need of other post-divorce resources.
So many divorced Catholic men and women still feel called to the vocation of marriage and want to pursue that calling within the context of the faith they hold so dear. Thank you, Lisa Duffy, for giving divorced Catholics a guidebook to help dating someone with anger problems find their way to the future they desire and deserve, divorced catholic dating.
Jesus, the Supreme Healer, has always invited those who struggle to come close to his Sacred Heart, so that they can receive his Divine Mercy. I appreciated most the approach to helping annulled Catholics overcome their fears of dating again. I have worked with hundreds of divorced and annulled Catholics over the years, and this fear is very common and understandable. If you feel this way, this book can help. That Lisa shares her own poignant, honest, and funny stories with a transparent and magnanimous heart!
Many of your friends may be nudging you along to find someone new, but are you ready to enter the dating scene again? Lisa can help you on this journey because she has gone through it herself. Her gentle tone and truly compassionate nature are exactly what divorced Catholics need to overcome their fears, heal from past relationships, and re-enter the dating scene with confidence.
Don't open yourself to dating before you open this book; it's that important! On Call with Wendy Wiese. The Live Hour on Archangel Radio. Divorced catholic dating the Wounds of Divorce. Table of Contents Read a Sample. Chancellor Diocese of Charleston, South Carolina.
Welcoming the Wounded into the Field Hospital.
Did you ever try to teach your children how to swim? Little Sara feels safe, secure, and enjoys the pool sitting on the steps or hanging onto the side. But try to drag her away into the scary deep waters where she can't touch bottom and you invite pure panic!
Kicking, screaming, and clawing her way across your face and out of your arms, she will try to thrash back to the side to the steps, where she was happiest. It is far too terrifying to be alone in that water when she does not know how to handle it.
Miraculously she makes her way to the steps, climbs out, and wraps herself in a towel. This is a good image of two dynamics that often happen after divorce: For some divorced people who have barely made it to the side and are clinging to the steps, they do NOT want a new relationship.
The trauma from almost drowning was too much. Good Lord, we have taken such a hit! We feel unloved, ugly, old, undesirable, and we just want to feel good about ourselves gain. We want to be with someone; we want love, affection, affirmation, and security—God hard-wired us for those good things.
Now you can understand why someone may want to rush back, as it were, into the perceived safety of a new relationship. They loved being married, being a family, or having sexual intimacy. They are too impatient to sit on the side and allow themselves to fully recover or to examine what went wrong and how to avoid similar problems in the future. They often fail to see that they need to make interior changes and develop better skills before they are really ready to get back into the dating scene.
Just some casual company of the opposite sex to feel like we are still lovable, right? Be truly available first. Neither you, nor anyone who may fall in love with you, can move toward marriage.
That usually sets you both up for disappointment, frustration, and a sinful using of each other. And you both usually begin to resent the Church, scoff at her rules, and make excuses for your life style. Learn from the past to protect your future. The annulment process helps you process these things, by the way. Is that fair to the other person Don't use others--even "benevolently. Healthy relationships only spring from two people who are free to remain single and still be content, but who choose each other out of authentic love, not loneliness.
The fear of being alone blinds you. This is usually due to not taking the time and making the effort to do what is necessary for full and lasting recovery. Don't play with emotional and sexual fire.
Dating is never really casual. Even if YOU are "fine" with it, you never really know what is in the heart of the other. Risking a broken heart is never casual. This type of relating has some immediate benefits that soothe the ego, but it can also be a mutual using of each other until someone better comes along. Sexual frustration is usually relieved with various levels of conditions and guilt.
After divorce, your broken heart should continue breaking—ever more widely to receive the love God wants to pour into it. Have you made a false idol out of marriage or relationship? If so, it may have become the most important thing in your life and has thus replaced God himself. They are good things, but they must take second place to God. What is our true purpose? Everything else should flow from that intimate love so that when we SERVE him it will be by seeing and loving others rightly, not using them.
Despite the wounds of divorce, we can be like real-life, "Soul Surfer" Bethany Hamilton who lost her arm to a shark, but who spent enough time healing that she could relearn how to "swim". If we will do the same, the waters of life will be deep blue and cool, where freedom from our fears keeps us afloat.
Home Site Map Contact Us. Common Questions We're only separated Why do I hurt so much? Why I am I taking longer to heal than others? What can I do to feel better? Where can I go for help? If God is good, why did He allow this divorce? I just can't forgive; is that wrong? I have so much guilt. What can I do? Where can I learn more about Catholicism? How do I help my kids?
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Kennedy “Lisa’s guidebook to dating after divorce is a timely resource for Catholics free to marry again. I appreciated most the approach to helping annulled Catholics overcome their fears of dating again. I have worked with hundreds of divorced and annulled Catholics over the years, and this fear is very common (and understandable). Our online workshops give you tools and insights to meet the challenges of being divorced and Catholic head-on.