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When you have attention deficit disorder ADD or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder ADHD , dating can be a difficult and awkward process. You might chronically forget plans you've made, arrive late, or get distracted during conversations. However, there are ways to work around problems that arise when dating with ADD.
People receiving treatment for ADD may be better equipped at handling dating situations. The right medication may boost the self-control and concentration you need to interact effectively. You might also consider therapy sessions with a mental health professional. The therapist can help you work through issues that normally trip you up.
You receive objective feedback on how you respond and interact in conversations that you probably wouldn't get from a date. You also may learn new coping techniques. All these capacities help you date successfully. Dating can add a new depth to your life, but it can also add stress and upset if not handled correctly. It is important to tell your date that you have ADD or ADHD before symptoms, such as chronic lateness, land you in hot water; or before your date misinterprets inattentive behavior.
If your date shows interest, give him or her some more details on the condition, such as whether the particular symptom is classified as inattention, impulsivity or hyperactivity. After you have been dating for a few months, it may be helpful to discuss ADHD more fully.
Describe the areas in which you struggle most, and talk about problems such as trouble concentrating restlessness impulsiveness disorganization mood swings temper outbursts inability to handle stress. As situations unfold, be open about what you are feeling and experiencing and apologize when you lose focus or do something to upset your date.
A person who has genuine interest in you will try to understand. Work on taking responsibility for these aspects of your life or they can ruin a dating relationship. It is pointless to endure evenings that are frustrating for you—such as sitting and listening to a long, poetry reading—when they only highlight your ADHD symptoms.
Outdoor activities help release energy and improve focus. You might try spending a day at an adventure obstacle course or playing a sport together. Dancing is another good activity for dates and can be enjoyed by both of you. Try barn dancing or country dancing for something a little different.
When dining out, consider a buffet restaurant so you have the chance to move around while selecting your food. On the flip side, you want to avoid dates that involve a lot of idle chatting or sitting around with little to do. Slow movies and theater productions are also bad ideas. Choose shows that are interactive or full of action. There are ways to make attention deficit disorder dating work.
It will take focus, effort and communication on your part and understanding on the part of your date, but the reward is that both of you will have a good time. The content on this website is provided for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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