Not because of the language barrier you always find ways to communicate! What differences did you see between the French culture and yours? Usually I really willy cartier dating your videos but this one is not one of my favorites. His descriptions are rife with inaccuracies and stereotypes and do not describe most American women.
Yes, there are some women, especially young year old University students, who may act in the way he describes but it is not the norm. Most Americans are actually a lot different than what people see on TV shows and Youtube.
I agree with some of the other posters that women and men and dating culture in general will vary based on region, socioeconomic status, and age. The US is a big country with million people roughly. There is a lot of variability. I love the interview format although I love your usual videos as well. I thought that your interview with Dan was very interesting, and there certainly is some truth to the differences he notes. However, as an American woman, I disagree with a lot of his characterization of American dating culture.
I think that there are certainly some groups of people who behave like he describes or have those expectations, but I think that many Americans do not kiss people without real interest in a relationship and most people would find it unacceptable to be dating or kissing more than one person at a time.
I think that some of these things are regional and generational. So while I cross cultural dating sites there are differences and as an American now living in France and in a relationship with a French man I would say that his characterization is a bit stereotyped.
Thanks Dana, this video brought so many interesting insights. I loved the video! And school- grades, compliments, etc. I live in France for one year and a half. French people like to take things slow. French people are sometimes too direct dating in france vs america they are trying to hunt and just look someone for one night. It happend to me many times. A person that I know suggested that I should sleep with him, just because! Agree-NOT every woman kisses everyone!! I would like to hear a female perspective on this american.
A kiss leads to the next step. Also- with the discussion about the mistress and French husbands-check out French films…there are so many that have that situation in them. It really gives the view that it is common and accepted. So marriage may not play as big a role as in the US.
I enjoyed this topic. Not everyone kisses anyone. You only kiss someone if you like them, and want to have the hope of them being your boyfriend. Confused, desperate women kiss more than one person in an evening. But, once you are having sex with someone, there is usually an expectation for women that they are exclusive.
They go for the physical relationship first, often, before even knowing if they really like the guy. Moving in together does not necessarily mean you are getting married any time soon. Most women flirt with their eyes when seeing an attractive man and then leave it up to him to make the approach. I grew up in the South, and perhaps that has something to do with it. Money was not talked about, but, of course, there are always ways to discern how well someone is doing.
I met most of the people I dated among friends, and most women I know are serial monogamists, rather than dating a number of people at the same time. Even in the US, we have different cultures. But there are certainly no strict rules as to age when it comes to dating in the USA. Thanks for the video! I just recently got back from studying in Paris and I saw a lot of these differences.
I wish I would have had this video before I went to Paris! I realize now that I made a lot of mistakes when dating French guys. But that is true about the accent! Just try to speak French and apologize for mistakes!
However, I will say that one thing that may make the US hard is that you will find a wide range of what is okay depending on that persons beliefs and background. Is the tutoiement appropriate when the friendship has been longterm but distant and all are of advanced years? Do older people more commonly maintain the formal voice a lot longer than the younger generations. The older people maintain the formal voice longer.
It comes from how they were raised. The children will vouvoyer older people to show respect and adults too and tutoyer members of their family. Really enjoyed the video with Dan. I really enjoyed the video but I am a bit shocked by your response to the American casual dating. Yet, you seem so judgmental about the American ways. I am kind of surprised that you find the French way so superior. Also, not all American women are so direct as Dan indicates. But after all that…. I really enjoyed the video.
My reaction is obviously not a judgment of the American culture, dating in france vs america. It has nothing to do with judgment, but on the contrary emphasizes the importance of communication and understanding. Hope this clears the misunderstanding. I am an American girl, and I find our dating pretty uncivilized. Do you think the French reputation for good kissing might be related to the value they place on the act?
Dan was not terribly off the mark on our customs. Most women I know would never date a man who is seeing more than one person. Chris, I have to agree with Jenn here.
I actually have to agree with Chris. When I was just starting to get to know people I would date 4 or 5 people at the same time. They all knew it wasnt exclusive and that there was no relationship yet. I didnt want to limit myself to one person when I barely knew anything about them and they could have been exactly the wrong fit.
If it went more than a date or two then I would talk to them about making it more official and let the others who I wasnt as interested in know that it wasnt going to go any further. I also never cared if they were doing the same thing at the same time — and most were.
There was no reason to get tied down with just one person when you had just met — that would be a waste of time particularly as I found I had little in common with most of them by the end of the first or second date. When I found the right person or the person I felt was right at that time a few times before the actual right person I would focus solely on them and expect the same — but not in the first couple of dates.
Thanks for a very useful and informative segment! I have a suggestion for a future lesson, which you touched on it at the end of this interview. Even after many years of speaking French quite well, and living in France, I still stumble when I have to choose between vous and tu.
Would be great to be specific about what is understood when you go from one to the other. I once asked someone I liked and had known for some time if we could tutoyer, and they demurred. So maybe I err on the side of formality? Also, when to go from a handshake to la bise? I just met my neighbors, we are of a similar age and seem to share a lot, should I start saying tu and faire la bise?
They brought me a little home-made food gift, I feel certain they are happy to have me as a neighbor. But will I offend if I lunge for their cheek?
When you go from vous to tu it implies that you accept the other person in your personal life. Between neighbours, we always start with vous. That said it was nice not to have to wonder or have the awkward conversation about whether or not we were. Merci beaucoup Geraldine for this informative video. Thanks to Dan Rock! Enroll in in my free lesson course that has helped thousands like you 2x their Everyday French in 10 days!
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new window. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. March 17, 40 Comments. Dating a French person is a challenge, dating in france vs america.
Salut Marie, Ah… oui….
Although the history of the United States and France have been intertwined through the centuries, a slew of differences still exist between the two cultures. These 13 differences between American and French culture are perhaps the most noticeable for visitors to France.
Chicken nuggets, hot dogs and French fries might be somewhat standard fare in America, but in France you'd never find fast food to be commonplace. Food is to be enjoyed and savored and people tend to linger over their meals as opposed to eating as quickly as possible.
When visiting France, you are immediately surrounded by a rich, long history that permeates the culture and general attitude towards all things French. There is an undeniable reverence for the French legacy and tradition, and consequently a desire to protect those things that are uniquely French.
By contrast, America is relatively new, embracing the idea of change easily. It's not just that France promotes the arts - it's more that the entire culture appreciates the fine arts and reveres France as the birthplace of many world-renowned artists. Not only that, but France actively promotes French artists - be they dancers, painters, or musicians. The government spends money on making sure that French artistry is promoted and supported in all its forms.
The French are very serious about preserving their language. Their job is to preserve all things pertaining to the French language and they are regarded as 'official' in their rulings on all things French. They actively discourage the Anglicization of the French language, often suggesting that 'loan' words, such as email, be replaced with French counterparts such as courriel.
While they create some controversy in their efforts to conserve the language, they also manage to be fairly successful at preserving it. The French are much more formal in day-to-day actions than are Americans. This is seen in everything from the way greetings occur, to proper etiquette in a restaurant or store. It is also seen in the language. For example, it's never appropriate to use tu with someone you meet until you are invited to do so, or unless they are much younger than you.
In America, most people tend to greet with a handshake, or a friendly hug. A kiss on the cheek is reserved for someone you know well such as a parent or grandparent or close family friend. In France, everyone you know and meet in a social, friendly context gets kissed on the cheek. Greeting sometimes include up to four kisses. In , France infamously banned the full-veiled face covering worn by some Muslim women, describing it as an "affront to society's values. In the United States, however, you would be hard pressed to find an overwhelming majority who support the oppression of personal religious expression on a daily basis in the same way.
In the United States, the right to personal freedoms like religious expression generally trumps the ideal of a collective spirit. The naked human body is something of beauty and is very much appreciated in France. In the same vein, Americans are often seen as somewhat prudish when it comes to displaying the naked human form. The French consume approximately two times as much alcohol than do Americans according to the World Health Organization.
Indeed, alcohol plays an important role in the gastronomy of France, where wine is typically consumed at long, leisurely evening meals. In the United States, wine is considered an alcoholic beverage and is therefore taboo to anyone under In France, wine is simply part of the meal. While you wouldn't see kids drinking at a table with their parents, it's not unheard of to see teenagers having a glass of wine with their parents at dinner.
In France, the concept of 'solidarity' is something that's constantly heard at the office. The idea that you can get more done as a group, and that no single person is more important than the entire group, are a key beliefs in the French workplace. While Americans tend to believe in the power of an individual to make a big difference in the world, this notion is not part of the French culture.
Instead, it's all about how well you can work as a team to complete a common goal. To the French, Americans are especially apathetic in their personal role in government and change. Furthermore, the French are taught early on to question everything, and to move swiftly to change government and laws when they disagree.
The French have impeccable taste when it comes to fashion. Even a 'dress down' day will be neat, coordinating, and have a polished air. Women, especially in Paris, tend not to wear jeans and are not likely to be caught in sweats either - unless they are making a fashion statement.
Even sneakers are somewhat of a faux pas, although it does depend on where you're going. Despite all these differences between American and French culture, Americans are likely to enjoy all that France has to offer and even come to appreciate the French way of life!
The term 'helicopter parenting' is unique to American culture. In France, children are allowed to fend for themselves rather early on, and in addition, correction from any adult is relatively acceptable. In America, families remain close knit, and you'll often hear one mother hesitate to correct a child that's not hers.
Likewise, American parents are willing to step in even for older children and lend a helping hand to solve a child's problem. From different social customs to cuisine , there are plenty of differences between the French and American ways of life. Differences, though, don't signal a difficult relationship between the two countries. Quite the opposite is true - there is a strong friendship between the United States and France.
Top Differences in France Although the history of the United States and France have been intertwined through the centuries, a slew of differences still exist between the two cultures.
Love of Food Chicken nuggets, hot dogs and French fries might be somewhat standard fare in America, but in France you'd never find fast food to be commonplace. Cultural Influence of History When visiting France, you are immediately surrounded by a rich, long history that permeates the culture and general attitude towards all things French. Art Appreciation It's not just that France promotes the arts - it's more that the entire culture appreciates the fine arts and reveres France as the birthplace of many world-renowned artists.
Preserving the Language The French are very serious about preserving their language. Formality and Etiquette The French are much more formal in day-to-day actions than are Americans. Kissing Greetings In America, most people tend to greet with a handshake, or a friendly hug. Views on Religious Freedom In , France infamously banned the full-veiled face covering worn by some Muslim women, describing it as an "affront to society's values.
Lack of Inhibition The naked human body is something of beauty and is very much appreciated in France. Alcohol Consumption The French consume approximately two times as much alcohol than do Americans according to the World Health Organization. The Power of a Group In France, the concept of 'solidarity' is something that's constantly heard at the office. Political Activism To the French, Americans are especially apathetic in their personal role in government and change.
Views on Parenting The term 'helicopter parenting' is unique to American culture. Many Differences From different social customs to cuisine , there are plenty of differences between the French and American ways of life. Basic French Phrase Picture Gallery.
From group dates to shameless PDA, French people navigate the dating world a bit differently than their American counterparts do. We rounded up some of the cultural differences between dating in France versus the US. Love of Food. Chicken nuggets, hot dogs and French fries might be somewhat standard fare in America, but in France you'd never find fast food to be commonplace. Dating in America vs. Dating in Europe on similarities and/or differences in dating in America and but also in Romania, Italy, France.
Roger Love of Food. Chicken nuggets, hot dogs and French fries might be somewhat standard fare in America, but in France you'd never find fast food to be commonplace. Is it really challenging to date a French person? Discover the unwritten rules, challenges & cultural insights with Dan Rock, an American living in France.