Kyle is an entrepreneur and nomad who has been living abroad since He blogs at This Is Trouble. Follow him on Facebook. Things that I assumed about relationships have been proven false. Issues that arose from my relationships with Western girls have been absent with the Ukrainian. Overall, my outlook has changed drastically.
This is for many reasons. The overall attitudes and mannerisms of women in Eastern Europe are drastically different. In some areas my expectations have been exceeded, but I keep myself grounded. You really have to string them along and make her beg and plead for you to be an exclusive couple. But the pride of Western girls prevents them from asking you for at least a few months, dating an artist girl.
The sex and the city lifestyle. And that matters, because she can brag about it to her friends to feel valued. Never underestimate the value of attention. Attention to girls is what sex is to guys. All we really do is trade them. Same goes for parents albeit that seems to come later. I look back and remember very few things, simply because many dates were very, very similar.
Because I did what worked. Instead, my routine followed something more like this:. There is an innate curiosity about the world. A desire to learn and to broaden her intellectual capacity. A perfect example is this: Despite the low number, the look of elevation and accomplishment is just something I never saw on the face of a Western girl. They all seemed far more interested in just watching reality television. Simply put, girls in Eastern Europe want to please their guy.
However, they manage to do this while still being reasonably independent. But despite that, she still wants to make me happy. She manages to be strong and independent and yet feminine at the same time. This is a skill and balance that definitely seems to escape most of the girls in the west—even if they are deeply in love with you.
She manages to make me feel needed, and yet not needed at the same time. It can be difficult at time dating someone from a drastically different culture languageanyone? But the pros absolutely outweigh the cons. She has added tremendous value to dating an artist girl life, and even has taught me a few things about the world.
I wonder how things will continue to go in the longer-term with her.
This is also the case for the corresponding type of game you should run during them. Something that seems perfectly reasonable in a night club will get you drummed out of Starbucks during the day.
Night game and day game are two very different animals. Part of being a well-rounded man is understanding these different knowledges and abilities. Neither type of game is easier or harder, just different. The same goes for what you wear. But, during the day, these sorts of things will get you written off as weird and, nine times out of ten, will scare the girl off.
Your goal is to spark mild, gradually increasing intrigue, not to create a big splash. When a girl gets ready to out at night, she assembles an elaborate costume that often makes her look nothing like herself: With every layer that she slaps on, her confidence grows.
With every rejection, her confidence climbs higher. What you get instead is a greater suspiciousness toward strangers and reluctance to engage in conversation. This is why the best day-game approaches are ones that are gradual, gentle, and unfold organically. The reason guys still go out at night is because you can do major damage pretty quickly. Alcohol is a powerful social lubricant that, when combined with the cover of darkness and loud music, provides a powerful atmosphere for sex.
This will rarely happen at a bookstore. What you get at the end of a vast majority of well-executed day approaches is a warm lead in the form of a phone number that you can later convert into something more. In the safety of the bar atmosphere, a girl will do all sorts of things that she would never think of doing during the day.
In a club, you can come up to a group of three girls, chat them up for a few minutes, make them laugh, and eventually angle to isolate your target for long enough to kiss her or to persuade her to leave with you. During the day, a group of girls is nearly impossible to break up. The exception is a retail environment, where a group may temporary split up to browse the shelves, but even this is rare. Generally speaking, you will have more success with individual girls, though exceptions do occur.
A big part of being successful during the day is to understand these and other differences, and to adapt your day game accordingly. Keep these in mind and you will greatly expand your pool of available girls.
Unlike your previous interactions with the girl, the date is a complex, extended exchange with many variables to consider. A lot of what determines this is simple logistics: The underlying principle of good logistics is, in the simplest terms, always planning with sex in mind.
Good date-logistics start with the basics: Night is always better than day. Your goal is to establish a mood. When was the last time you saw a guy make out with a girl at Starbucks? Restaurants are even worse. A girl with a full stomach is a girl with an empty vagina. Food also absorbs alcohol. Schedule your dates after standard dinner time. Some bars are definitely better than others. Ideally, you want to choose a venue from which you can easily and comfortably move to your place or hers.
You need to anticipate and remove as many of those objections ahead of time as you can. Smart venue selection can make all the difference between a memorable night with your date and another night of jerking off to Internet porn. Plan ahead and reap your rewards. Everyone gets rejected sooner or later. A girl can go cold seemingly out of the blue. Then, after following the classic text conventions, you get nothing.
There are a million ways this scenario plays out, but the theme is the same: Girls nowadays give out their numbers like candy. Girls avoid confrontation and awkwardness at all costs. What about when she showed clear signs of attraction? The deadly combination of Facebook , ever-shrinking attention-spans, and the inherently flakey nature of young girls especially American ones conspire to create a bad situation.
Cute girls have unlimited options. She could have fantasized about being impregnated by you the night she met you, but within an hour she forgot about that because she got a text from some other guy. This is a double-edged sword that can work to your advantage as much as it can hurt you, as we shall see. The odds that the ether swallowed up your text before it got to her iPhone 9 are infinitesimal. Get that out of your head.
A certain percentage of the time just forgetting about your text is enough. We end up making plans, and I end up banging them in the long run. It can work at any stage in your interaction with a girl: The important precursor is that you fully allow the conversation to actually go cold. I rarely send a restart text sooner than 10 days than my last communication.
The goal of the restart text, simply told, is to re-spark the intrigue the girl presumably felt for you at some point. The restart text is an art that you have to customize to your own style and to each situation, but these are some basic techniques to get you started. Create your own text following these approaches.
This is probably the oldest, and most transparent, approach. But it should definitely be part of your arsenal. You can learn a lot from homeless guys about approaching girls during the day. With that much practice, one thing you get pretty good at doing is identifying the different techniques these guys use.
Another area you hone is your arsenal of ways to say no. Your skills improve with every solicitation. I had a friend who even figured out a way to stop his car just the right way at freeway entrances , so that when panhandlers approached his car, he could keep it crawling long enough for the light to turn green. I call it the homeless alarm. Even when a guy tries to be subtle about these crappy moves, she instinctively knows he wants something from her, and that he has little to offer in return besides an extended, open hand.
Top-notch day game hinges on subtlety. In a way, this is what makes day game easier. So much of being successful during the daytime is about being in a mindset that probably more closely resembles your natural state: When you approach a girl during the day, you have to think like a panhandler trying to avoid the setting off that alarm with the same, tired, transparent techniques every other guy on your block uses to try to get people to give up the change.
Pick Up Artist Mindset. I'll also send you extra tips on how to chat with girls for a while so you get their phone number. You can unsubscribe at any time and your email address will never be distributed.
To sign up put your first name and email address below and click the button During the day… 1. Shields are down or rather, different shields are up. Outcomes are more modest. Indicators of interest are far more subtle. Groups are harder to penetrate.
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