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Pilots live a life on the go, and time apart from their partners is unavoidable. With long day trips away each week, minimum time at home, and short notice scheduling, it takes a strong commitment to maintain a healthy relationship with a pilot.
Most people who have never dated or been married to a pilot, hold an assumption that all pilots have affairs or are untrustworthy. With good-looking crewmembers, long overnights in different cities, how could they not be unfaithful, right?! The fact is that yes pilots are constantly being placed in situations that could welcome cheating, but the reality is people are disloyal in their relationships regardless of their profession, and not all pilots fall under this general stereotype.
Dating or marrying a pilot does however take a certain type of person. But for those of you who love your partners in the sky, here are some tips for helping to maintain that strong, lasting relationship!
This is by far the most important part of any relationship, but it is especially important when dating a pilot. Pilots spend days away from their families, creating constant communication challenges. During flight pilots are unable to be reached, and when on the ground they may be in a completely different time zone that is unfavorable to those at home.
These challenges can easily create relationship problems if not dealt with properly. There are many pilots who have fallen into the habit of not checking in as often as they should with their spouses.
This lack of communication can create insecurities or questions about what is really happening while away on their trips. Creating a healthy relationship starts with communication, and will eliminate any room for mistrust or uncertainty. Have your partner text you when they land safely or arrive to hotel. Use Facetime or Skype to check-in and talk face-to-face, helping to ease the feelings of long distance.
Share dinner plans, who they will be with and when they get back to hotel room. Dating an airline pilot means that you constantly have to adjust your life around their schedule. The majority of pilots flying today only receive their schedules for the following month a few weeks ahead of time. This means that unless they have scheduled vacation, you will likely be playing a guessing game on whether or not they will have a specific holiday or weekend off. Pilots who fly reserve lines, meaning they are on-call, live day-to-day unsure of whether or not they will get used.
Even though they may be at home, there is always a chance they will get called into work last minute. For those pilots who hold a regular line, it may take many years before they gain access to an improved or more flexible schedule. So in order to adapt to a pilots unpredictable schedule, the best advice is not to get hung up on important dates. You will likely have to celebrate birthdays on a different day, spend holidays apart, or plan your weekends together month by month.
Be flexible and willing to adjust, even if it means making small sacrifices along the way. Pilots are usually based out of a specific hub, and sometimes this hub is not within easy commuting distance from your hometown. Unfortunately this can be a challenge when you have kids, especially when you need the extra support that your family can provide while your spouse is away. Fortunately though, one of the many perks of being with a pilot is that you have flight benefits.
The best advice for creating a strong support team is to get to know the partners and spouses of other pilots. Not surprisingly, some of your greatest support will come from the people who understand this lifestyle best, and who know all about the day-to-day challenges that you face. The biggest mistake you can make when dating an airline pilot is depending on them to fill up your social life.
The reality is, pilots are away a lot working and when they are home, you might find them needing to sleep off their jet lag. Join a yoga class, learn photography, take cooking lessons, or do as I did and start a blog!! Flying is truly fascinating and there is so much to learn about it beyond just traveling from point A to point B.
Pilots love what they do, so make an effort to understand what it is that excites them. So be willing to get on a plane and go see the world together. During the periods when your pilot is away working on long trips, there is no need to sit at home. Use your travel benefits to go somewhere. If available, you could also give a friend a buddy pass and share in the experience of travel with someone who might not get the opportunity otherwise!
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