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By Ulrika Jonsson Updated: Being labelled a 4x4 a mother of four children by four fathers does not bother me in the slightest, but the chances are you are not going to believe me.
Truth is, when it first emerged that I was expecting my fourth child by as many men three years ago, I had to admit to myself that the branding was not only innovative but rather apt.
It rolled off my thick skin like water off a pregnant duck's back. It was convenient tabloid terminology, but most of all it was the simple truth - and no matter how much I may, at other times, have been hurt by cruel opinion, I could not argue with fact.
Now my young son, Malcolm, is about to turn two and many cruel jokes and jibes later I am still questioning why my domestic situation has been the subject of so much vitriol and disapproval. After all, plenty of men - many of them famous - father children by a host of different women, and they are treated like loveable, if randy, old goats. But women like me, whose romantic dreams may have fallen apart - but who work ferociously hard to provide stable loving homes for their offspring - are vilified.
The feminist in me fails to understand why men and women are treated so differently. I should point out that having four children by four fathers was never part of some grand plan.
Au contraire, I did always dream of having several children, but in a blissfully domestic, nuclear family. Alas, the cruel hand of fate - combined, at times, with too much trust and enthusiasm - created the situation in which I now find myself.
My domestic circumstances have evolved over a period of nearly two decades, so I've had plenty of time to acclimatise. But the adjustments I have had to make to my home life have been nowhere near as stressful as being judged and pilloried in a manner alien to the many men who have committed the same 'crime' against the family. Take the adorable Rod Stewart, for example: Is he ever castigated over his family? Or Clint Eastwood, described and often lauded as a 'serial womaniser' with a 'ferocious sexual appetite' which has led him to create seven children by five different women?
But perhaps the worst offender of all is the edgy, multi-talented funnyman Eddie Murphy, who has not only given life to eight children by four women, but who initially rejected the existence of one of them. Now, that's class and masculinity for you. These men are never scrutinised, let alone mentioned in the same breath as me, and I have no choice but to put that down to the difference in sex. Society continues to regard men who have had many sexual partners as studs, whereas women who have had several lovers are regarded as 'tarts' or 'sluts'.
It is utterly unjust and, frankly, sexist. Why is it that we expect men to sow their wild oats and then accept that they may not be around to pick up the pieces? Why do we presume it is the woman - the mother - who will take full responsibility for the product of that failed relationship? Although I'm not proof that it's a marvellous idea for women to have children by different men, I will never sit back and accept sole responsibility for my situation without asking: I realise I fall into that most tragic, modern bracket of having had failed relationships resulting in children.
However, all four of my children live with me. I clothe, feed, house and nurture them - not to mention love them beyond all reasonable comprehension. I am incredibly lucky to have three excellent fathers to my children, who are involved in their lives on a daily basis.
The fourth, however, ran for the hills as soon as the umbilical cord had been cut. His irresponsibility, disregard and rejection of my darling daughter Bo nigh on broke me - not least because Bo was born with a congenital, life-limiting heart condition and I feared for her life as much as I feared for my sanity. Bo's father fitted that objectionable template of those biological fathers who want a child more than they want marriage - even when I pointed out that a child represented a lifelong union between two adults.
Ulrika with former partner Markus Kempen, who left her and their daughter Bo when she was just two weeks old. So when he announced his departure two weeks after her birth - on the very day we brought her home after her first cardiac surgery - my anger turned the situation back on him and I asked what would happen if I, too, decided I would abandon her? He didn't have an answer. We assume that the women will do the caring, nurturing and bonding, but we wrongly consent to the fact that men might not.
He still does not have a relationship with Bo, but when and surely not if he decides he wants to, I'll be there to support them both because I see my children's welfare as more important than any bitterness I might harbour.
Contrary to popular opinion, my house is not like Euston Station with a bevy of colour-coded children being picked up and dropped off by different fathers. I have two fathers who are dedicated and involved and are, like me, merely the victims of a failed relationship. The third father is my present husband who acts as father and stepfather. Am I arrogant and dismissive of criticism of my domestic set-up? But I am independent and, above all, responsible.
While the breakdown of my two marriages and the other relationship left me deeply depressed, it was the responsibility towards my children that kept me going. Rod Stewart, pictured with wife Penny Lancaster and five of his seven children.
I am acutely aware that there are some excellent fathers who have not only lost a marriage or relationship but have also lost their children and would - if their exes allowed them to - be engaged with their children constantly. But equally there are as many if not more, men who are irresponsible fathers and see their children merely as conquests or a mark of their manhood and they should be ashamed.
Functional, beautiful, well-adjusted children can come out of broken situations. And in my case it is thanks to the contributions made by the fathers who take the same responsibility as I have. So please save your criticism of the women who love and nurture their children and direct it at the men who fail to be fathers and prefer, instead, to play Father Christmas once a month. I have four fantastic children with three fantastic fathers.
And in the words of Meatloaf, if he wouldn't mind re-writing his song, 'three out of four ain't bad The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
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Carter Ulrika Jonsson: Why am I derided for being a 4x4 mum when dads like Rod Stewart (7x5) are heroes? By Ulrika Jonsson Updated: EDT, 18 May Get the latest fashion and beauty trends, inspirations for home decor, horoscopes, celebrity style, parenting tips, relationship advice, advice for mindful living, and more.