My private video


Photo by Rachel Kurzius. When I enter the Georgetown Library, I feel embarrassed asking the librarian if she knows where the Friend Speed Dating event is taking place. Part of me wants to clarify that I'm there as a journalist and have plenty of friends, thank you very much. But I don't, and she directs me to the basement with a smile. Ten or so people are already there. Georgetown librarians Rebekah Smith and Julia Strusienski, the organizers of the event, tell one man who didn't sign up in advance to circle back before everything kicks off.

Ahead of time, the event has reached its person capacity. I put on a name tag and take a deep breath. During reddit speed dating dating, traditionally used to find a romantic partner, people have rapid fire conversations with tons of different folks. The idea is that you don't have to suffer through drinks or dinner with someone when you don't feel the spark, and you can meet lots of people in one fell swoop.

But swiping on Tinder and other dating apps has made speed dating less necessary, if not entirely anachronistic. Friendship, on the other hand, is tougher to come by, even though it seems like we're finally beginning to give amity the respect it deserves.

TV shows like Broad City and Playing House make the case for the importance and depth of platonic relationships. Significant others and jobs come and go, but you've got your ride-or-die pals forever. Smith found a Canadian library that had successfully hosted friend speed dating through a Facebook group, and she Strusienski decided to give it a go as they try to plan programming for younger residents.

Public Library system is making a concerted effort to expand its offerings beyond books, including its Memory Lab and Makers-In-Residence programs. The target age group—around college-aged to 40 year olds—has a number of names: She says she would get emails about their younger adult book club, and "the subtext was 'I want friends, reddit speed dating. There are two long tables set up, with breath mints and conversation starters printed on small pieces of paper—questions like "What brought you to Friend Speed Dating?

Choosing where to sit feels a little like cool dating usernames a spot to eat lunch on the first day of school.

I somehow end up in a conversation about a topic that seems near and dear to the heart of one of the participants: As often happens at events with strangers, I find myself asking question after question. I can't tell if I'm interested or just want to keep the conversation going. As it turns out, geocaching is an activity where people use GPS locations to find items. Thanks to my new friend Asher I could tell you black elite dating lot more about it, if you want.

Smith and Strusienski get the event started around 7: Of the 50 people who had signed up, about 20 actually show. The man initially turned away had his pick of seats. They welcome us to friend speed dating, emphasis on the friend. The rules are simple. You have two minutes to gab with the person across from you, and then you move down the line to the next potential pal. First I meet Monica, who is She's lived in D. All of her friends have coupled off and are starting families.

She's about to tell me more, but it's time to switch. Patricia, 35, recently got married. At a bar, it's hard to approach a woman, because she thinks you're hitting on her. As I meet more people a pattern emerges. The women there generally want to meet other women, whereas most of the men have a "why not? And Sillicon Valley is taking note—new female friend-finding apps are emerging.

Because there's an odd number, I talk to Jonathan, 28, and Simon, 39, together. It turns reddit speed dating they already know each music match dating. Simon used to be Jonathan's Sunday school teacher, and they recently reunited on Facebook. The site also brought them both here, reddit speed dating. Jonathan's friend sent him the event as a joke, and Simon saw it on his wall.

Next I see Asher again. He loves that this event is free. He says that normally, you've got to pay to participate in speed dating. He doesn't have any expectations for the evening because "the best experiences happen by chance.

When I talk to Rita, she explains that "I've done the whole online dating thing and haven't had much luck. I just want companionship. To me, the search for new friends feels more daunting than a date. If a potential romantic partner fizzles out, it could have to do with any number of things outside my control.

The whole "it's not you, it's me. So if they don't want to be your friend, it's you. It reminds me of an interview I saw with a Chicago Cubs fan many years ago. A journalist asks him why he remains so loyal to the team. Sure, it can get complicated. They can let you down or you can grow apart. But I've always been a friends fan. And letting yourself be vulnerable isn't easy. When the other half of one of my favorite conversations from the evening leaves, she says goodbye but doesn't ask for my number.

Christina vidal dating knows I'm here to cover the event, I say to myself. She probably thinks I've got enough friends, I nearly convince myself. I ask Jonathan how he thought it went.

Smith, the librarian, says that they'll probably repeat the event, though they may play around with the structure. Thanks for checking out our new design, please let us know if you have feedback.

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We are a welcoming community. Rights of all genders are supported here. Please submit content that is relevant to our experiences as women, for women, or about women. This includes both asking and offering assistance. As a community, we're not set up for screening each funding request [more]. Going speed dating tonight for the first time.

The title says it all - I'm going speed dating tonight for the first time in my life! I've done the online dating thing before it was alright, I'm still kinda on it , Tinder makes me cringe most of the time, but I'm looking to try something new. I met my fiancee at speed dating!! Not that you have to get married. But that's what is happening for me.

The best conversation starter for me is "What do you do for fun? I ended up on a date with a girl who likes to salsa I like to salsa! My fiancee is actually somebody I didn't spend 90 seconds with. I went to queer speed dating, and a bunch of us went out for drinks together after - she was quiet and fun and I got her out of her shell and she was the best. If you're not sure about somebody, look for another opportunity to hang out after! Wow, this comment really checks out.

I studied at the yeshiva where the rabbis who came up with the idea learned. It's a pretty forward thinking place for what you'd call an orthodox yeshiva.

I got my courage up and went to a speed dating session back in January. These are only based on my experience:.

Sometimes that was interesting, but most of the time, it would have been nice to be able to contribute to the conversation. Don't feel you need to ask big life questions. Instead maybe ask "what was the most interesting part of your day today? The two men who asked questions like this out of all of them were the ones where I had the most enjoyable, least nerve-wracking interaction because it was about immediate topics that I didn't have to think a lot about first.

Questions like "what is on your bucket list" and "what is your biggest dream? Instead, smaller questions allow the other person to relax and just converse. You can tell you like someone a lot just by the ease of the conversation itself, it doesn't have to be 5 minutes of life changing information. You will feel so awesome after it's over because you took the chance. That's the main goal!! I'm hoping for a chance to meet some cool people - it'll make for some story after I didn't come out of mine with a date I wanted to go on or a romance, but I DID come out of mine with a new friend!

Another woman who was there for her first time and I bonded over the experience and now we are great friends! I'm taking a single friend with me so I won't go into it not knowing anybody, but I would have done it if she didn't wanna come anyway. I've done it a few times, honestly wasn't great but I like the concept and would try again. My one piece of advice is stay away from the 'what do you do?

Just sit down as if you're meeting up for coffee with a good friend and start chatting to see if there is natural chemistry and good flow of conversation.

I'm an ambivert, but I can only say, "Hi, I'm Pam" so many times, you know? You could order drinks they start a tab under your name and food if you wanted. I should have gotten fries; I would have been known as the girl who had fries. Well run, no breaks though. Three minutes wasn't long enough for some people, for some it was just right.

You get a card; write down the other person's name and then there's a checkbox of yes, no, friends. The contact info name and email is sent out a few days after. There were some great stories, I laughed a lot.

We'll see how it goes, but I had fun so that's what matters. I didn't stick around after -- it got loud and I just wanted fresh air so it was nice to walk for a bit with a friend that came with me. They were short on guys and got some from the downstairs bar but overall, I'd recommend it.

It was a good way to meet people I wouldn't have otherwise. I had never heard that term before. I had to look it up and take a quiz. It seems like a good description of me. I'm really good one on one, and am a pretty good listener, but usually if there is an extrovert around I tend to fall off.

I'm not the sort of person who can tell a story to entertain a whole group, but in a small group, especially introverts, I tend to take more of an extrovert role, try to make people feel comfortable and get them to talk.

People are always like, "YOU? I'm glad you had fun. I may have blacked out how hard it was to meet so many people. I was encouraging my girlfriend to get out there, meet a dude, be outgoing.. So I suggested a local speed dating service. She said, "why don't you come with? She picked age range Sadly I can kinda sorta pass for a young 35, but just barely. On my way driving there, she said her babysitter cancelled, and there's no way she can come.

I already paid for it, so I bite. What no one told me, is add 10 years to the guys that come. Whatever age bracket, just add 10 years. I got a lot of men that were into it. Conversely ones who were uncomfortable. A couple who even offered to set me up with their son. The people setting it up started was just a Facebook page with date tips for the city I'm in and they got such a good following that they eventually branched out to a legit website and events. So I will likely get mid to late 20's, maybe some early 30's.

I'm an older guy, and I always go to the younger age bracket on these speed dating events--not to be creepy or anything, but just because I'm a bit north of 40, and if I want to have a family, I sort of need to date younger.

I know--there are fertility treatments, but seeing what my sister went through to have a child at Not going to happen--way too dangerous. The younger guys are generally looking for an easy hunting ground based on my experiences.

The older guys are looking for a relationship--but there are going to be a fair amount of creepers there. Most important thing--keep a good sense of humor about the whole thing! You'll meet some great folks, some losers, and a bunch of non-entities. Several people I know like to use services that give you temporary "burner" phone numbers for this purpose. They're cheap phone numbers that forward calls to your real phone and let you text from inside the app.

If you like a person, you can give them your real number later; if not, the temporary number expires and with some services, you can terminate a number early for any reason -- handy for creepers. You can even have a few numbers going at once if you want. The only one I've tried is called, appropriately enough, Burner. I believe the study to which you were referring indicated that genetic mutation based on age of paternity was linear. If you look at the genetic mutation based on maternity age, the numbers are much higher.

Downs the most common go from 1 in at 20, to 1 in at 30, to 1 in 84 at 40 for women. Older men that have children appear to be less likely to have genetic disorders such as Downs, but more likely to have mental disorders such as autism. From my research, at age 50, there is 2. Unfortunately, most of that research is still purely statistical and not yet as far as I know traced to root causes mostly because autism is very poorly understood given the vast range of effects and severity.

So while I agree that there is a higher chance of autism by a factor of 1. A lot of time they are run through meetup. I don't mean to be a wet-blanket, but I'll be completely honest about it. I wouldn't recommend speed dating at all.

A friend of mine organizes singles events.


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